car, comedy, family, Humor, Travel, vacation, women

Slice and Dice

Summer is a time for vacation. We always went to the beach for our summer family vacation but the trip was over 600 miles long and there was no way to shorten it, regardless of how we sliced and diced it.

I was teenager-ish when I went on my first trip to the beach. My parents tried to slice and dice the long trip by setting up a little bedroom in the back of my dad’s pick-up truck, which was covered by a cap.  They set it up nicely with a big mattress where me and my sister could lay down and stretch out for the entire ride. Seemed like a good idea and it was, for the first 2 hours. But when the sun came up and the outside temperature reached 90 degrees, it was a like a carbon monoxide-infused sauna. Proof that you can’t slice and dice a long trip with a moving Ford hotel.

If you ever get the idea to slice and dice the 12 hour trip over two days, think again and then put yourself in timeout and think some more.  Two is not better than one when it comes to riding-in-car days, especially when children are involved.  I know, I did it, and it didn’t go well.  The stopping point was an amusement park and a visit to Colonial Williamsburg.  Wanting the full experience, we stayed at a colonial-ish motor inn where Merwin, whose mother must not have liked him, conjured up magical scones each morning for all the guests.  Problem was, my husband couldn’t enjoy them because he ‘got sick’ on the first roller coaster ride at the park and it lingered into the next day. That meant, instead of riding in the car, I got to ride every single amusement ride with the kids and I rode some of them more than once. Proof that you can’t slice and dice a long trip with a split over two days, especially when more riding is involved.

So, after 40 years of making the long trip, I can tell you this-The ride is what it is. You can’t slice it or dice it. You just have to get in the car and go.  Safe Travels!

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